The Conditional Tense

The Conditional Tense

You can disappear over the weekend, and I have an ego big enough to convince myself that I made you up. In fact, I am so jaded, that I will have to convince myself that I didn’t make you up, boys that look better than movie stars don’t drink wine on my living room floor. Those boys are posing for pictures, living in hotels, and never have time to spend with one person at a time. Je voudrais que toi restiez….(I want(conditional tense verb) you(informal) to stay(figurative/literal verb?) a jamais. (Forever: my greatest fear deepest desire) First thing to do is to wake up on my floor, and to think that I may have done this before, this is where I woke up the morning after, evidence everywhere, a record making pointless noise, pfft, pfft, pffft, four empty bottles of wine, quatre bouteilles vides (four bottles(noun) empty(future simple certainty)
I will write you into one of my stories, that is a surefire way to make you fictional for real, because all my characters are too good looking and too cool, I wouldn't know these people in real life and if I did they wouldn't be my friends, you will fit right in. The story will begin with a guy who looks just like you. Entre (enter verb) Homme hyperbeau (Man of hyperbolic beauty (adjective) ) A boy with a name like Jack, something simple but uncommon, therefore, cool, will be holding a glass of wine, he will take a sip and a drop will run from the corner of his mouth, like a drop of blood, and he will look like one of those movie vampires that are so fashionable right now. My character, a thinner version of myself with better skin and thicker hair, will admire how you try to catch the trickle with your tongue. Je Verrais (I would see; conditional verb) My character would say something controversial and impossibly witty, I will just put in quotation marks till I can think of something that doesnt sound too contrived " " she says, but your character's response will come easily and effortlessly, and the words will tumble languidly out of your mouth, probably how you would reply if you were real. You'd get very passionate about your position on the matter (insert matter here) and you'll gesticulate wildly, your hair will shake loose, wirey silver stands glinting like stars through a forest of dark trees. Graying at twenty-one, now you are really starting to sound like a literary character. I will grab the back of your head, my hand cushioned by all of your hair that is probably not going to recede (see fiction, in real life I get asked out by guys who are prematurely balding, and I say yes because I don't want to admit that I am turned off by sparse hair on a shiny scalp, in real life I am this shallow, but in my stories, I don't have to be, cause you look so young and lush) and I will halt your words with my mouth pressed hard on yours. We will be listening to Twilight Galaxy by Metric, and the best part of the song will swell up in my heart, I'm all right now come on baby
I've seen all the demons that you've got
If you're not all right now, come on baby, I'll pick you up and take you where you want
Anywhere you want
and I will be very happy that we are kissing while that song is saying what I won't say to you, or wish you would say to me. I will reconsider the song for my story later, and deem Metric a bit too obscure and choose something safer for my readers like, I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen, Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby, edgy and dull
and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my soul You will kiss me back and it will feel good and satisfy a craving deep and insistent, this kiss will be the first cigarette after a transatlantic flight, the one where you drop your bags on the concrete and light up 19 feet and 11 inches away from the "no smoking within 20 feet" sign. only you can cool my desire
I'm on fire
Yeah, a nice safe Boss reference, I can picture fiction me having that record on vinyl. My character will remove an expensive jacket made of buttery soft leather, and your character will peel layers of clothes off my slight body, and my gleaming hardwood floors will have a temporary carpeting of designer clothes as I do the same to your character. The thought will cross my mind that in literature nobody cares about reading the labels on peoples clothes, and I will consider making this story into a movie script. That way I won't have to try to explain how attractive we are and how adept at dressing and undressing we are, people who read books hate that stuff anyway. My character won't wonder if this means anything to you, the thought won't cross her mind to ask you if this means that you like me too and want to be my boyfriend. She won't desperately hope that you are exploring the geography of her body to memorize the routes, not to just pass through. That's too hard for her to say in French, so, enlever(remove, very present tense verb with future tense consequences) mes vetements (my clothes).
Je veux toi (I want you) she'll say hotly into your ear,
from the darkness your foreign language response will emerge, my character hasn't been to Spain or Russia or where ever your response is coming from, but she knows it amounts to "I want you, You are sexy," and she will say, ne(don't) m'a(you me) jamias(never) lacher (let go) (never let me go) and since anything sounds sexy if its breathy enough, she will beg, S'il tu plait (please) S'il ....tu.... plait and she will stretch each word out. In the movie version, white text will be the only thing covering our naked bodies, a sheet of sexy bilingual back and forth. Now this is where I am going to bury you in pure fiction. In the morning you won't leave. You will linger, and suggest breakfast at the hotel across the street. My character won't have to think of any ways to tempt you to stay, you won't search for you phone or be in a rush to get dressed, you won't jingle your keys in your pocket when you do finally put your pants on. We will take a shower together, I will say that I like you, (Je t'aime, I like you informal, I love you depending on context) and you won't say, "Yeah, I know, but I have a girlfriend," and I will not have to say, "Yeah, I know, okay? I was just saying it cause its true alright?" You'll lift my chin gently as beads of water spray into our eyes, and you'll say, "Je t'aime aussi, (I like you as well, love you depending on context, present tense, not conditional)"